I
have often heard people speak of angels on earth. Whenever they do,
they always seem to tell this really heart-warming story about
someone who has done something wonderful for them that completely
changed the entire course of their lives. I guess you could say that
this is one of those stories. You see, being a very Spiritual person,
I have always believed in angels, and in their presence among us. I
even felt that I had experienced manifestations of that presence many
times... or at least, that's what I thought. However, I was proven
wrong when my life was changed forever by the experience which I am
about to relate here. That was when I learned the true meaning of
that phrase.
This
wonderful story began shortly before Christmas of 1996, when I
received a telephone call from my good friend, Ginger. She had phoned
to let me know that she was going to be coming home to Missouri from
Oklahoma. She had been living there for the previous ten months,
helping to care for her sister, Wilma, who had been ill with breast
cancer. At
the time, I was only vaguely acquainted with Wilma. I had heard
Ginger tell the story of how she and Wilma met many times. Ginger
shared with me that she had been given up for adoption by her natural
mother, so at first she had not been aware that she even had a
sister. Then, when she learned that she did have biological siblings,
she began trying to track them down, and found Wilma. She told me
that after finding each other in 1976, they had become acquainted by
writing letters to one another daily. Once they were in contact with
one another they became very close in a short time, and remained so
from that point on. She had told me all of this long before ever
finding out that Wilma was ill. So naturally, when she heard that
Wilma was ill, all she could think of was trying to help in whatever
way she could. She decided that in order to do that, she needed to be
near her; so she put her own life on hold indefinitely, and made the
move to Oklahoma!
I
really hated the idea of being separated from Ginger, but I
completely understood her desire to be there for her sister. I did,
however, keep in close touch with her throughout her stay in
Oklahoma. We wrote letters, and I would call her there often. On some
of these occasions, Wilma would answer the phone, so I would speak to
her briefly while I was waiting for Ginger to come to the phone. Mostly, we just made small talk about nothing in particular. This is
how she and I got acquainted. But aside from those short
conversations, my only knowledge of Wilma was acquired from the
stories that Ginger told me about her. So, needless to say, I was
extremely shocked when Ginger told me that Wilma wanted to meet me in
person. I did not understand the reason for this request; it
concerned me a little, so I asked Ginger about it. When I did, she
said to me: "Oh, I have told Wilma all about you and our
friendship, and about the experiences that you and I have shared."
She
went on to explain that when she'd moved to Oklahoma, she had taken
along several picture frames, each filled with many photos of all her
friends. She also said that she and Wilma had spent many hours
looking at the photos together as she explained who each friend was,
and told Wilma all about the experiences that she'd had with each
person. While that certainly explained how Wilma had come to know me
so well, I still didn't understand why she wanted to meet me in
person. It completely blew my mind to think that I barely knew this
woman, but somehow, I had managed to make such an impact on her that
it was one of her dying requests to meet me. Let me tell you, unless
that experience has happened to you before, you could never even
begin to understand how profoundly moving it is.
Anyway,
knowing that Ginger was planning a trip back to Missouri, Wilma asked
her to find out if I would mind coming with her when she returned to
Oklahoma after her visit. I agreed, and Ginger came home for her
visit about a week later. Since we were in the midst of the holiday
season, her plan was to spend a brief time with her family members in
St. Louis before returning to Wilma's side. Wilma's
illness had progressed to the point where everyone knew that her
death wasn't going to be that far off. She had told Ginger to go back
home and go on with her life, but Ginger still felt the need to be
there for her; she was determined to see her sister through this to
the very end. So about a week after she got home, Ginger returned to
Oklahoma, and I went back with her so that I could meet Wilma as she
had requested...or more accurately, so that Wilma could meet me. I
had no idea what to expect. I only knew that, apparently, Wilma's
desire to meet me was based on the impression of me that she had
gotten from all of the stories that Ginger had told her about me. Little did I know that the events which were about to take place
would change my life in a most phenomenal way.
We
arrived in Oklahoma on a Thursday night in late January of 1997...I
believe it was the 23rd, although my memory is a bit
fuzzy on that, so I could be mistaken. Regardless, my first meeting
with Wilma was a moment that I will remember vividly for the rest of
my life. I can still remember the anticipation I felt as I stepped
onto the porch, about to enter the house. I was very nervous. By
the time we got there, Wilma had already been bedridden for quite
some time. She had been receiving Hospice care, and they had supplied
a hospital bed which had been placed in the living room for her, so
that she could still interact with friends and family as much as she
was able to. We entered the room and walked over to the side of her
bed, where Ginger introduced me to her. I reached out to take her
hand, and as she placed her hand in mine, I remember thinking that
her skin was the softest thing I had ever felt before. Then, she said
hello and smiled at me. And I have to say honestly that she was the
first person I have ever met whose smile truly did light up the room. I have heard that said about many people, but in this case, it is
absolutely true. When she smiled, you could just see her Spirit
shining out of her. For me, that smile alone was worth the entire
eight hour trip. And that moment was made even more significant in
light of the fact that it was one of the last lucid moments of
Wilma's life.
We
stayed in Oklahoma for a total of five days, and in that short period
of time, I came to realize that Wilma was one of the most gentle,
caring, and absolutely selfless people I had ever known. This was a
fact that was most clearly illustrated to me on the second morning of
our visit. Wilma had had a particularly uncomfortable night the night
before, but in spite of what she was going through, she was much more
worried about my welfare as her guest than she was about herself and
her situation. This moved me more than I could ever begin to express
with words. I mean, here she was lying on her deathbed, her body
being traumatized by the most horrific pain that a human being could
ever possibly experience, and she was more concerned about whether or
not I had slept well, or if I had eaten breakfast that morning. But
that is the kind of a person that she was. She always put everybody
else's needs ahead of her own.
That
being said, I am reminded of another story which will further
illustrate just how selfless Wilma really was. This one takes place
about four months before Ginger and I made the January trip to
Oklahoma. See, I had actually scheduled a trip to go and visit Ginger
there for the entire week of September 8, 1996. Ginger and I had
spoken on the phone many times about this visit, and we were both
very excited about it because we had not seen each other in person
since Ginger had left Missouri. We had made many plans which, among
other things, included going to a KISS concert on September 11, 1996,
in Oklahoma City. In fact, Ginger had already purchased our tickets
for the show. So I packed my bags, bought a plane ticket, and was
ready to go off and have the great time that both Ginger and I had
anticipated.
Unfortunately,
things didn't quite turn out that way. The day before I was supposed
to leave, I got a phone call from Ginger saying that our visit would
have to be canceled. It seems that the family was having some
difficulties, (both financial, and otherwise), and they really were
in no shape to be entertaining guests. Still, I know in my heart of
hearts that if the decision had been left up to Wilma, she would have
just let me come for the visit, and she would have tried to make the
best of the situation because she did not want to spoil all the plans
that Ginger and I had made. It was Ginger who had to cancel the trip,
so that I would not be visiting at a bad time. Honestly, I could
fill an entire volume with the acts of kindness that I witnessed from
Wilma in just that brief of a time! It saddens me that I never got to
thank her for the effect that her kindness had on me.
Although
she never knew it, Wilma was also a huge help to me in another way as
well. My family and I are no strangers to cancer ourselves; we've
lost several family members to various forms of the disease. I have
always deeply regretted the fact that I did not visit my family very
much at the very end of their lives. I mean, I did pay my respects by
attending their funerals and all that, but I just couldn't stand to
watch their health deteriorate at the end. I know that sounds
horribly selfish, but it's true. Because I have carried that regret
for so long, I was doubly grateful for the opportunity to be there
with Wilma. As I was sitting at her bedside praying, I felt as if she
had given me the chance to make up for my past mistakes, and I have
always wished that I could have thanked her for that beautiful gift! It was a great help in healing from the grief of my own loss.
Sitting
with Wilma in her last moments did more than just help me over my
grief, though. It also helped me to release many of the fears that
had kept me from being there for my own family members. She
approached her death with such dignity and courage; it was amazing to
witness. There were many moments when all that I could do was look at
her and marvel at the strength of her Spirit. Even in her weakened
state, her Spirit shone blindingly. I could see this beautiful,
golden glow of Divinity around her head. I wish that I could describe
it here, but it really defies all description. You would have had to
see it to understand what I was talking about. Even though I never
really got to know Wilma on an intimate basis as a truly close
friend, I could just intuitively feel the goodness in her Soul as I
sat with her in silence.
Another
of her many outstanding qualities that I admired was her great sense
of humor. Again, this was something that I never got to witness for
myself, so I have had to rely on Ginger's many stories, as well as
the many photographs that she has shown me which depict Wilma in
different humorous situations. But if you, the reader, could see
these photos, you would see that Wilma's sense of humor is clearly
evident in each and every one of them.
I
usually don't like to pass on second hand stories, but this one made
me laugh so hard that I can't resist. As I was learning about Wilma's
sense of humor through Ginger, I can remember one photo in particular
that absolutely made me howl with laughter when she showed it to me. The photo showed Wilma wearing a comically over-padded bra on top of
her night shirt, and a huge silly grin on her face. The photo became
even more hilarious when Ginger explained the circumstances of the
moment that it was taken.
She
explained that this photo had been taken just shortly after Wilma had
had her double mastectomy. Wilma's husband believed that he could
somehow make her feel better about the loss of her breasts by
surprising her with "a hand-made bra of his own design." Unfortunately he over-padded it just a bit, making it appear about
three sizes larger than Wilma's own breasts had been before the
operation! When Wilma came home from the hospital, he presented this
"gift" to her proudly! Ginger said that she truly did
appreciate the thought behind his effort, so, not wanting to hurt his
feelings, she accepted it, and thanked him politely. However,
as soon as her husband left the house to run an errand, Wilma turned
to Ginger, and said: "Obviously, he either remembers my breasts
much differently than they actually were, or else it is simply
wishful thinking on his part!" She and Ginger laughed their
heads off over this, and then Wilma put the bra on over her
nightshirt, and allowed Ginger to snap the photograph of her making
fun of herself. It was hilarious to me, too. I laughed so hard that
my sides quickly began to ache, and in between fits of laughter, I
remember thinking how great and inspiring it was that even in spite
of all that had happened her, Wilma could still find things to laugh
about. I know how very important it is that the patient keeps their
Spirits up in situations like these, and Wilma surely did just that.
Further
evidence of Wilma's incredible sense of humor came to me after her
passing, and I feel that it bears mentioning here. After she passed
in February of 1997, Ginger and I spoke of her often. We had many
conversations remembering her, and the time that we spent with her
during this trip. In one of these conversations, Ginger has told me
how much Wilma used to enjoy hearing the stories of all the silly
things that she and I had done together. She said that Wilma's
favorite story about us...the one that made her laugh the
hardest...was about one of the frequent trips to the casino that
Ginger and I had made together. On this particular occasion, we were
in the parking lot, and it was very crowded. At first, Ginger had
planned to let me out at the door, and then park the car. However, on
outings with Ginger, things rarely worked out exactly as we planned;
that was one of the things that made life with her so much fun; we
could always laugh about the unplanned mishaps!
Despite
all of our good intentions, here's what actually ended up happening. We
were driving down one aisle of the lot on our way to the door, when
out of the corner of her eye, Ginger spotted someone
starting to pull out of a parking slot. Determined to get the spot
before anyone else, she started screaming at me to get out of the car
as fast as I could. In all my life I have never heard anything else
quite like the tone of her voice in that precise moment. It was the
voice of a possessed woman on a mission! I attempted to do as she
asked, but was not fast enough. She started shouting at me to hurry
up, her voice becoming almost a growl. I threw open my door as she
came to a very brief stop, and swung my feet out. I barely had enough
time to even get my crutches out of the car, let alone put them on my
arms so I could walk. I had them in my hand when she suddenly started
to move, not even giving me time to close the door! Then her son,
Paul, who was riding in the back seat, was forced to dive over the
front seat in a frantic attempt to get the door closed! Meanwhile, I
was left to hobble to the door with my crutches in my hand! I teased
Ginger about that mercilessly until the day she passed away herself
in 2008. I used to tell her all the time that she always made me feel
so loved! According
to Ginger, Wilma found this story hysterical, and would laugh
uncontrollably every time she heard it. And of course, each time that
Wilma laughed at the story, Ginger would tell it again, making the
details even more exaggerated for comic effect. This is typical of
Gingers sense of humor; she'll do anything to get a laugh... and of
course, it works every time!
It
has always made me feel good that our little adventure gave Wilma
that gift of laughter. I bet that as she sat there laughing at that
story, she never would have dreamed in a million years that she'd
have the chance to experience Ginger's obsession with parking spaces
for herself, but indeed, she did. You see, Ginger often drove Wilma
to her doctor and hospital appointments for chemotherapy and
radiation treatments and the like. It was on one of these doctor
visits that Wilma saw this for herself. She and Ginger were pulling
into the hospital's parking garage for one of Wilma's final radiation
treatments, when again, Ginger spotted an open space. She gunned her
motor, determined to snag it. In the process, she ran over a curb,
drove through a chain that was across the parking lot entrance, and
came very close to lightly grazing a cement column. Ginger said that
Wilma grabbed the dashboard in a frantic attempt to steady herself,
and her eyes widened until it seemed that they were going to pop out
of their sockets. Then, after Ginger had stopped the car and she'd
had time to regain her composure, she turned to Ginger as they were
walking into the hospital, and said: "Now I know how poor Randy
must have felt!" Ginger, of course, busted a gut laughing at
that.
My
final memory in all of my experiences with Wilma is a much more
somber one, though. This one took place on the day before Ginger and
I left there to come back home to St. Louis. The priest from Wilma's
church stopped over to say a prayer for her. As everyone stood around
silently with their heads bowed in prayer, I remember sensing this
incredible feeling of peace around the room. And a moment or two
later, I felt the unmistakable presence of The Lord in the room. He
was standing at the left side of Wilma's bed, looking down at her. Even though He never spoke a word, I know that He was telling her not
to fear what was to come, and assuring her that she would soon be at
home with Him in Peace and Glory. I believe that His presence there
was twofold. Not only was He there to guide Wilma home, but also to
gently remind all of us that He is still there watching over us, and
that He is still The Master of all our lives.
I'm
sure you can understand why this trip was an experience that I will
not soon forget. Now, that I look back on the whole thing, I
definitely think that I was sent to meet Wilma so that I could be
taught a very valuable lesson about courage. I learned what the
phrase "angel on earth" truly means. I was also reminded of
something that all of us should know, something that we all-too-often
forget, and that is this: don't be deceived by appearances, because
the angel that you've spent so long searching for may have been
walking right beside you your whole life!
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