So you have finally put your last relationship behind you, and you've decided that you are ready to start dating again. After careful consideration, you figure that the best way to get your feet wet is by setting up and online dating profile. With that decision made, you carefully scour the Internet, and select what you feel is the perfect site for you. Once you have created an account, you are then faced with the challenge of creating a profile that will catch people's attention, and hopefully, flood your mailbox with responses!
However, those of us who have played the online dating game know that this is not quite as easy as it sounds. When it comes to this stage in the process, most people spend hours staring at a blank screen, unsure of just how to proceed. How much information do you give about yourself? How much do you hold back? How do you state this information in a way that emphasizes your strengths, without sounding like you are vainly trumpeting your own greatness?
It can often be quite a challenge to strike just the right balance between honesty and modesty in your online profile. After all, revealing too much information about yourself can give the impression that you are an egotistical braggart, who likes nothing better than to sing your own praises. On the other hand, revealing too little information could possibly be interpreted as a lack of confidence...or worse yet, a sign of dishonesty. So, what's the cyber-dater to do?
Although this online matchmaking stuff often seems very intimidating to the novice, it can be a much easier and more pleasant experience if you will take a few simple tips into consideration before you begin. First of all, be sure to read the site guidelines and policies very carefully, including any hints or tips that they may offer, making sure that you follow them to the letter when creating your profile. This will not only avoid problems later on, it is also likely to give you some good ideas for spicing up your profile.
The first thing you should always do is include a photo of yourself. Profiles without photos are largely ignored. Take your time with this, as choosing the right photo is a key ingredient to your online dating success; it's worth a little extra time to choose a photo that you feel is flattering to you. Make sure that the photo you post is really you, and that it is realistic looking. Most people will skip right over your profile if they think it is a fake.
Your title or headline is also important. This, along with your photo, is the first thing that people will see; it's also the main piece of information that they will use when deciding whether or not to click on your profile. Try to come up with something here that is unique and fits your personality. A humorous play on words is always a good bet. This is another thing that may take some extra time, but again, will be well worth it. Remember the old saying that you never get a second chance to make a first impression!
When describing yourself in the biography portion, there are a few criteria that you should keep in mind. First, don't ramble; keep it brief and interesting. You should also strive to be original. Do your best to avoid the bland, generic statements that most people typically tend to use. For instance, instead of simply saying that you like to have fun, list some specific activities that you enjoy, and briefly talk about why you like them; instead of saying that you have a good sense of humor, describe the type of humor that makes you laugh and explain why you find it funny. Your likable qualities should be communicated in your writing; instead of bluntly telling people that you are funny, bright, and warm, write your profile in such a way that they can sense these qualities without your having to tell them! One of the worst mistakes that many make is in trying to over-sell themselves by repeatedly pointing out their good traits. Again, this is very negative, as it can be construed as egotistical.
Also, be specific about what you want in a relationship. Don't expect people to read your mind. If you prefer to date a nonsmoker, don't be afraid to say so. If you detest a certain type of animal, and cannot date anyone who keeps this animal as a pet, this should be stated in the profile. If you have certain religious beliefs, and require that your partner share the same convictions, make that known.
And there is one more thing that should be remembered above all else: Be completely honest. While it's true that you want to put your best foot forward, you don't want to mislead anyone in the process; honesty really is the best policy. The importance of honesty cannot be overstated; however, you do want to portray yourself in the most positive light that you can while still being honest. Do your best to understate that which someone may find negative. For example, if you are carrying a few extra pounds, use words like ample, large, or voluptuous to describe yourself rather than simply saying “I'm fat.” This is honest, and at the same time, it puts the truth in a more positive light. While we are on the subject of honesty, I must tell you that although complete honesty is of utmost importance, it should be tempered with caution. One can, at times, reveal too much. There is no need to reveal every minute detail of your life. This scares a lot of people off, because it often feels like an invasion of personal space. It causes some people to feel as if you are trying to push your way into their lives by getting too intimate too quickly.
Last but not least, if you do make a connection with someone, take things slowly. The rules of online safety should always be observed. Stay alert and watch for red flags. Never give out personal information until you feel completely satisfied that your prospective date has been honest, and they are indeed who they claim to be. If you choose to meet them in person, do so in a place where you feel comfortable. Well-lit public places are usually the most preferable. It is also wise to keep your cell phone with you, making sure that it is working and fully charged, just in case something unplanned happens. It also may be a good idea to tell a friend or loved one who you are meeting and where you are going, just so that someone is aware of your whereabouts in the event that something goes wrong. Hopefully, all of these precautions will not be necessary, but it's better to be safe than sorry.
The bottom line is that creating an online dating profile simply requires common sense. Following these simple guidelines is sure to make your profile stand out in the crowd, and will hopefully make for a safe and pleasant journey toward finding the perfect soul mate that you have been dreaming about!
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