CD Review: Twisted Wires & The Acoustic Sessions, By Tesla

It is always a pleasure for me to review a new release by Tesla.  They are a truly extraordinary band, who always puts everything they have into their music.  In the twenty-five years of their existence, they have never released a weak album in my opinion.  Much of their success can be attributed to superb songwriting, impeccable musicianship, and the soulful, passionate vocal rasp of Jeff Keith.  All of this is perfectly displayed on their latest CD, Twisted Wires & The Acoustic Sessions, which came out on July 12, 2011.

As the title implies, Twisted Wires is another primarily acoustic album that makes an ideal companion to Tesla's previous unplugged masterpiece, 1990's Five Man Acoustical Jam.  More than any other band, Tesla has a remarkable ability to transform their usually electric guitar-driven sound into a unique and workable acoustic format without losing the vibe of the original tune.  Few others can pull that off as well as they do, and that is a true testament to the quality of their songs.  Only songs that are truly great will still sound good when all the volume and sound effects are stripped away.  When you simply pick up an acoustic guitar and play your songs without gimmicks or pretense, the music has to be able to speak for itself; in Tesla's case, it definitely does!

Many rock bands wouldn't even have the courage to attempt such a thing, but Tesla truly shines in this arena.  I think this is because, when it comes to their songwriting, they have always been a band who followed their own creativity and listened to their gut instincts.  They never tried to write “hits.”  By disregarding popular musical trends, and simply reaching inside themselves to write about what matters to them, they have created songs that anyone with human feelings and problems can relate to.  Those are the kind of songs that stand the test of time, the ones that become classics!

Listening to Twisted Wires was pure joy for me.  Before its release, many fans were expressing doubts about them being able to top their earlier triumph on Five Man, but for me, that was irrelevant.  The two albums are entirely separate entities.  To begin with, they did not repeat any of the songs that were on that record.  With the exception of the song Hang Tough, which came out prior to Five Man, but was not included on it, all of the other acoustic versions on this one are from the albums that came out after that one.  In addition, there are two brand new tracks on this CD.  One is called Second Street, and the other is entitled Better Off Without You.  Both are great, and for me, those two tracks alone make this album worth purchasing.

The performances here are solid in every respect.  The drums and bass retain all of their energy and fire without being overpowering, the guitar work is absolutely stellar, and Jeff's vocals are some of his best to date!  Long-time fans will want this one in their collections, and those who are new will find it a great introduction to the Tesla sound!  This is guaranteed to be a real treat for anyone who loves acoustic music, or for those who just love great songs played by wonderful musicians!  One listen will make you a Tesla fan for life!  Prepare to be transported!

CD Review: Forever More, By Tesla

I have been a loyal Tesla fan ever since they first arrived on the music scene back in 1986.  From the first moment that I heard them, I was hooked!  Even after all these years, they still remain at the top of my musical list.  In my opinion, they have everything a great rock band should: a rock-solid rhythm section, stellar guitarists whose hearts are in every note they play, and gritty down-to-earth vocals that are filled with raw emotion.  They are one of those rare bands that possess the natural chemistry to produce some truly magical results musically.  From my point of view, Tesla can always be depended upon to consistently deliver quality songs that are interesting and break new ground, while still remaining true to their rock & roll roots.

For me, each new album is cause for celebration; so naturally, it goes without saying that I was overjoyed about the arrival of this album.  I purchased “Forever More” on the day of its release, and it didn't leave my CD player for the next three months!  Clocking in at just under 51 minutes, “Forever More” is a triumph, containing 12 tracks that are sure to be future classics.  If I had to compare it to any of their past work, I would have to say that this is an expansion of the sound that began with 2003's “Into The Now.” This record sort of picks up where that one left off, further exploring that sonic territory.  True, this is a slightly different sound for Tesla, but it will still rock your socks off!

This album is truly phenomenal in every aspect.  Drummer Troy Luccketta and Bassist Brian Wheat are an unstoppable team, giving the rest of the band an unshakable foundation upon which to build.  Frank Hannon shines throughout the entire album.  His rhythm playing is solid.  His solos are full of energy without ever feeling forced, and they are all flawlessly executed.  In my opinion, one of the things that makes Frank such a great player is that his playing is never self-indulgent.  His musical statements are always exciting, with just the right amount of flash.  He never over-plays in an egotistical attempt to impress the listener with the level of his technical ability, which is something that many rock guitarists have been guilty of over the years.  Instead, his focus always remains on complementing the song.  Also on the guitar front, I must take a moment to give credit where credit is due.  I have to give a nod to new Tesla member, Dave Rude, who does extremely admirable job of filling former axe man Tommy Skeoch's rather large shoes.  You rock, dude!

Another thing that you will notice throughout this CD is the great lyrical content, and some absolutely mind-blowing vocals by Jeff Keith.  Jeff has always had this wonderful ability to write very positive and uplifting lyrics without sounding sappy.  He definitely proves that you don't have to be dark and depressing all the time to rock like crazy!  His passionate singing really enhances the positive vibe contained in the words, without ever losing that rock & roll bite!  I have to say that I admire him greatly for this.

OK...now, let's move on to the songs.  The adventure begins with the title track.  “Forever More” is a heavy song with thickly layered, very heavy guitars, interspersed with beautiful acoustic sections throughout the tune.  There are several points of interest in the track that should be brought to the listener's attention.  The first thing that struck me was that the song was perfectly mixed.  In the opening riff, there is an acoustic guitar doubling the electric perfectly.  It adds a great touch of texture to the electric part without detracting from it.  Another noteworthy attribute here is the sixteenth note melody played by a third guitar in the second half of each verse.  It is an interesting touch that helps to keep things moving smoothly into the chorus.  A similar sixteenth note riff can also be found in the bridge of the song, culminating in a beautiful acoustic section at the end of the bridge, which provides a suitable launching pad for the guitar solo and the final repeats of the chorus.

Next comes the album's first single, “I Wanna Live.”  This song is a feel good, high-energy rocker that will have you on your feet playing air-guitar within seconds.  This song is truly a three-and-a-half minute party!  The track boasts some fine drum technique from Troy, and a great lyric that urges the listener to live every moment of life to the fullest.  As a side note, I would also like to add that the song has a killer video; hop over to you tube and check it out if you get the time; you won't be sorry!

The third track, “One Day At A Time,” is another up-tempo rock tune about getting through the sleepless nights and stress of a breakup.  The track does a very nice job of keeping the momentum going.  This one definitely cooks.  At times, it tends to sound a bit chaotic, but just when you think they're going to send you over the cliff, they reel you back in...and just in the nick of time!  We have more great drumming here, as well as a ten ton solo by Frank, which, as usual, fits the song perfectly.  And of course, a song like this would never be complete without a pounding bass on the bottom end, and Brian Wheat doesn't disappoint; he really goes for the throat here, just as he also does on the previous track.  On top of this, Jeff's unmistakable rasp is in fine form as he wails about trying to keep a grip on his slipping sanity, singing: “One day at a time, no mountain to climb - But sometimes it don't come easy – One day at a time, or I'll lose my mind – That's all I can do, believe me.”

After the frantic pace of the previous two songs, “So What” offers the listener something a little different.  The song is still heavy, but at a slightly slower tempo, and with a very different mood.  The thing that I love most about this tune is the sharp contrast between the verses and the chorus.  The intro and choruses are heavy, with a wah-wah tone on the guitars that adds just the tiniest bit of a funk flavor, while the verses are a little more laid back.  I love songs that are structured in this way.  In my opinion, it shows the band's versatility.  This song also features one of my favorite lyrics on the album; its about realizing that we all sometimes have bad things to face in life, but complaining about it won't fix it.  It basically reminds us that you get back what you give out in life, so if you want to receive good vibes, then give out good vibes!  Again, Jeff's vocal is heartfelt, and really gets the message across; all of the parts are top notch.

The next two songs continue in a similar vein, striking a nice balance between the heavy and the melodic.  First is “Just In Case.” The guitar tones here are perfect; distorted just enough to be heavy without being overbearing.  As always, Frank's sense of melody is impeccable; his playing ranges in mood from happy, lively and exciting, to expressing the perfect amount of shadow when that is appropriate.  And Jeff's great lyric about giving thanks for the beauty in your life really tugs at the emotions!  This is followed by “Falling Apart,” which really has a great sort of seventies, FM radio feel to its verse section and intro.  Both are great songs, which again contain that wonderful verse-to-chorus shift in mood.

These songs are followed by “Breaking Free,” a tune about extracting yourself from a nightmarish relationship.  The tension in the opening, as well as that of the main melody against the rhythm guitar in the verse is the perfect complement to Jeff's “stressed-to-the-limit” lyric and performance.  This is a case where music and lyric merge to perfectly express the desperation of anyone who has ever found themselves in a similar situation!  This is yet another great tune that I am sure many will be able to relate to!

Now we come to the very manic sounding “All Of Me.”  Maybe this is just me, but I am hearing a slight punk rock influence here; different for Tesla, but still very cool.  This is a unique tune that is different from anything else on the record, but in spite of its differences, it still fits into the scheme of things perfectly; it doesn't sound out of place in the least.  Also, the song features another universally experienced lyric about being taken to the cleaners by a significant other (or an ex after a breakup).

“The First Time,” is one of those tunes that will leave you feeling capable of anything, no matter how difficult.  Yes, it contains another of Jeff's patented lyrics that I have previously described. The music is great all around, with a catchy chorus that is sure to get stuck in your head and keep repeating to the point of madness!  “Be everything you want to be – you're extraordinary...” Although heavy, it has a feel good, almost pop vibe to it!  Another A-plus for this one.

Up next, is the tear-jerker in the bunch.  “PVT Ledbetter” is a touching, and very sad tribute to those who defend our freedom.  In it, a family waits for a letter that never comes from their loved one overseas...that is until they receive the awful and unfeeling form letter that comes from casualty.  If the subject alone is not enough to move you, Jeff' soulful performance will.  Trust me, it would bring tears to a glass eye, so be prepared for that...you have been warned!

The remaining two tracks, “In A Hole Again,” and “The Game,” both have something unique to offer as well.  The latter contains one of my favorite guitar melodies.  Again, very heavy with the wah-wah laden intro and choruses, while the former is a slightly darker tune about the secrets that we all carry with us.  In both cases, everything comes together to make the perfect musical statements that Tesla are known for.  Both tunes seem a fitting way to bring the festivities to a close!

So in conclusion, I will just say that this is one album that you simply must experience for yourself.  One listen to this CD should make it clear to everyone why Tesla's fans are so rabidly loyal.  They are a band that always produces well written songs that are heartfelt and performed with exacting precision, and are always willing to experiment and explore, but without ever losing their connection to where they came from.  A rock fan just couldn't ask for anything more.  Take my advice; go out and get this one now!  I guarantee it will be the best fifteen dollars that you've ever spent!  I can tell you that the hours that I have spent listening to this record over and over have given me a joy that is beyond price!

Is Homosexuality Natural?

There's an old saying that the surest way to get into an argument with someone is to discuss one of two subjects: politics or religion.  While that may be true, it is not necessarily the complete truth, because that list of hot topics should be expanded to include homosexuality in general, and this question in particular.  This question has long been the subject of fiercely heated debate; few others can open that proverbial "can of worms" like the issue of nature vs. nurture.

I feel that homosexuality is an issue that can never be fully understood unless it has been a part of your personal experience; if you have never experienced homosexual feelings or had to deal with the related issues that arise from them...either for yourself, or because of a friend or loved one in your life who is gay...then there is no possible way that you could even begin to comprehend it, and you are therefore not even qualified to be debating the question in the first place!  With that said, here are my views on the subject.

The first problem that we encounter when trying to answer this question, is that no one seems to be able to agree on exactly how the word “natural” is to be defined in this case.  Using the most common definition of the word, natural is defined as “anything that exists in or is created by nature.”  Accepting that definition of natural, the question then becomes: does homosexuality occur in nature?  If one makes a thorough enough study of that question, they will find hundreds of examples that homosexual behavior occurs among every species of living creature in nature on a daily basis!  Therefore, it is perfectly reasonable to state that homosexuality among human beings is natural as well!

Homosexual people are as ordinary as any other group of people, and we have existed since the beginning of time.  We come from every walk of life, and in every form of appearance.  We enter the world in the same manner as every other type of person.  Anyone who takes the time to really know us would immediately see that our lives are no different than those of any other group in society.  We are not alien invaders hatched from pods; we are not clones created in a mad scientist's laboratory; therefore, it stands to reason that the definition of natural stated above would apply to us every bit as much as it applies to anyone or anything else!

I have never understood the logic that leads people to believe that homosexuality is chosen; it is just a complete mystery to me how anyone could ever arrive at that conclusion.  Consider how gay people are regarded by the rest of society.  We are hated; we are socially ostracized; we are accused of “recruiting” people into our lifestyle; we are accused of being child molesters, and sometimes even far more heinous things...and that's without even mentioning the horrible acts of violence that are often perpetrated against those of us who are gay.  A person would have to be completely out of their mind to deliberately choose something that invites so much prejudice, hatred and ridicule into their lives.

Even though it has been more than thirty-five years since the medical and scientific communities removed homosexuality from their lists of mental disorders, and in spite of the fact that there is an ever-growing amount of data which suggests that there is a genetic link to homosexuality, that evidence is still mostly ignored.  And those in religious and political power have done everything they can to discredit this information as false; unfortunately, people are still all-too-content to believe the rhetoric that these leaders are so fond of spouting.

But let's stop and think about this for a moment.  As a straight person, could you ever be persuaded to change your sexual orientation and become gay?  No?  I didn't think so.  Have you ever been approached by someone on the street or at your front door who has asked you to become gay?  No?  Well, so much for the idea that we “recruit” folks into the gay lifestyle.  There's two grossly stereotypical myths shot to hell!  As for the whole child molester thing, (which, by the way, turns my stomach), all you have to do is read a few statistics which can be provided to you by any law enforcement agency to see that the largest percentage of sexual molestation acts that are perpetrated against minors are committed by straight white males.

Since I am a homosexual person, I am very much aware that most people out there will automatically assume that my statements in this article are nothing more than an attempt to defend my “choice” to be gay, and will therefore dismiss them as untrue.  However, I can assure you that they are nothing of the sort.  Regardless of what others may say, homosexuality is not a choice, and it cannot be changed.  Therefore I have no need to defend my natural orientation, which I believe to be a wonderful gift from my loving Creator.

Gay people cannot change our attraction to members of the same gender any more than straight people could change their attraction to members of the opposite gender.  If there is anyone on earth who knows that from personal experience, I do; it is a lesson that I spent most of my life learning the hard way.  If you have read any of my past articles, my inner struggle about these issues is made more than clear.  I spent years living in total denial of my sexuality, and trying desperately to “change myself.”  I tried everything I could think of to do that; so believe me, if there were a way to change one's orientation, I would have found it.

Gay Pride Vs. The Right To Privacy

In the past, I have been a member of several gay message boards where I have shared my views on a wide variety of gay issues.  This article is about a question that I have posed for discussion on most of them.  It is a subject that I have been interested in for some time, and I have always been surprised and fascinated to see how others react to my point of view about it.  Surprisingly, I have received only a small amount of positive feedback on these statements.  For the most part, the reaction has been decidedly negative.  I have to admit that I was more than a little shocked by that fact.

Before I ask the question, I always like to take a moment to make myself clear and avoid any misunderstandings.  I like to let people know up front that I am not trying to be judgmental; it is not my intention to insult anyone, so I hope they will not take offense if they find my remarks to be a bit mean.  I ask the question simply because I want to hear other people's point of view on the matter, and I want to find out if they feel that my opinions about it are misguided in any way.  Then, with the disclaimer out of the way, I usually take a deep breath, and dive in.

So, what is the question?  Well, I'm glad you asked!  The topic: pride vs. privacy.  The question: If someone prefers to maintain their privacy and not discuss the details of their private life with others, should they be accused of being ashamed of it, or trying to hide it?

I pose the question because this has happened to me on occasion.  For years now, some have accused me of being ashamed of the fact that I am gay because I choose not to discuss the details of my private life with others, and I only tell people that I am gay on a “need to know” basis.  It is my view that just because a person chooses to keep their private life to themselves, that does not mean that they are ashamed of it in any way.  It simply means that they do not wish for the entire world to be aware of their personal business, that's all.  I have always felt that what I do behind closed doors is none of anyone else's concern; the only two people who need to know what goes on in my private life are me and the person with whom I happen to be sharing it...no one else.

Maybe this is just me, but it seems like a certain segment of the gay community (and by that I mean some gay people not all of them...I would never make a huge generalization like that) tend to take the notion of being “out” a bit too far.  In some cases, it appears that every single thing in their entire lives revolves around their sexuality.  For some, it almost seems that if they didn't define themselves as gay, they would have no idea who they really were as a human being.  They give the impression that their sexuality is the sole component of their entire identity.  Now, I understand that we are talking about only a very small segment of the gay community as a whole; the majority of people are usually much more private, I find.  However, I am still quite bothered by this way of thinking for a number of reasons.

I mean, I am not the least bit ashamed of who I am.  I am very proud to be a gay man.  I would never deliberately try to hide that fact from anyone, nor would I lie about it if I were directly asked.  But honestly, I do not volunteer the information when it is not necessary.  I have never felt the need to broadcast my sexuality to the world as if I were on the six o'clock news.  To me, a person's sexuality is a deeply private thing, and only they should decide how it is expressed.  As far as I am concerned, no one else has the right to tell me that I am ashamed of being gay just because I choose to express my sexuality in a more subtle way than they do.  As I said, I tell others on a “need to know” basis.

My reasons for feeling this way are quite simple, actually.  Although I am very proud to be a gay man, being gay is only one part of who I am.  I am also a lot more than just a gay man; I am someone's son, someone's brother, someone's uncle, and someone's friend.  I am a kind, loving, and intelligent human being with a wide range of interests.  I am a published author. I'm a songwriter and a musician who plays several instruments.  I am a trained actor who performs in little theater.  I am all of these things, and I refuse to let my entire identity be defined by something that is only one tiny piece of who I am as a whole person; that is so limiting!

I don't judge anyone else if they choose to be open and very vocal about their sexuality, but I have often felt that some people have passed judgment on me for being less vocal about this very private matter.  They somehow seem to feel that I am betraying the rest of the gay community, or that I am being less than honest by remaining silent on personal matters when it is not necessary to bring them up!  So, am I just being overly sensitive about the issue, or what?

Also, there is something else that I have noticed about this "loud and proud" segment of the gay community.  Those who think this way seem to have an unhealthy obsession with sex for the most part.  Of course this is not always true in every case, but it has been true in most of my experiences.  Others may feel differently and that's OK.

I have made some gay friends who are like this.  They never seem to get sex off their minds for a single second.  Maybe it only seems that way because the subject of sex tends to completely dominate every conversation that I have with them...I don't know.  But in any case, I would love to hold an intelligent conversation with them just once without having to discuss who is doing what with whom in the bedroom.  I mean, don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against sex!  I am definitely willing to make a time and place in my life for sex; you can be sure of that.  And I do believe that sex is a very important part of a relationship, but it should not be the sole basis of the relationship; there are other things in life as well.  Besides, no one else really cares or wants to know about someone else's sex life...at least that's the way I see it

I have yet to understand why the majority of people react so negatively to the things that I have said here.  I must confess that these reactions have really caused me to question myself at times.  Are my views offensive?  Am I somehow being disloyal to my fellow members of the gay community?  According to the feedback that I have received from others, the general consensus seems to be that I am.  It makes no sense to me, but as soon as I figure it all out, I will let you know.

Oh, and by the way, I'd just like to end with a funny little side note.  As I was finishing up this article, I had a thought that I found amusing.  I have sat here for about the last 1,200 words going on and on about keeping my private life to myself, and yet here I am writing articles about it to be published on the Internet!  How's that for irony?

Gay Relationships: Dealing With Jealousy And Insecurity

I was having a very interesting conversation with a good friend of mine recently, and he inspired me to write about this topic.  During our discussion, we turned to the subject of how jealousy and insecurity effects a relationship.  At first we were just discussing relationships in general, but then he asked me if I thought that these issues were a bigger problem in gay relationships than they were in straight ones.  Since these two issues are usually the cause of major relationship traumas, I figured this would be the perfect place to examine this.  So here are my thoughts.

When my friend first asked the question, I was sort of at a loss.  I didn't really know if I could answer honestly.  Although I have been thinking a lot about it for the last couple of days, I have to say that I am still no closer to reaching a definite answer.  I have to admit that to my mind, it does often seem as if jealousy and insecurity are more of a problem in gay relationships.  In my view, we do seem to be a little more possessive in relationships than our straight counterparts.  Yet I cannot quite bring myself to state that as an absolute truth.  After all, just because something appears to be a certain way, that does not necessarily make it true; in which case, it would be unfair to jump to that conclusion.  And even if it is true in some cases, it certainly cannot be true in all cases.

But I think that the bottom line is that jealousy and insecurity are just human traits, and in the end, the issue of gay or straight does not even need to enter into the discussion.  Let's face it, there are some people who are prone to jealousy and insecurity, and there are some who are not.  That is true of both gay and straight people alike.

Ultimately, I think it would be of much greater value to examine the effect that these feelings have on a relationship.  This issue can be viewed from two angles: from the view of the jealous party, as well as from the view of the person at whom the jealousy is directed.  And I will try to examine both points of view here.  But no matter how you look at it, the effect of jealousy on a relationship is always negative; nothing good has ever come from it.  It is always destructive to everyone involved in the situation.  Trust is an absolute must in any relationship; once that trust is destroyed, it is only a matter of time before the whole relationship falls flat on its face, so to speak.  That's the only thing that I can say with any degree of certainty.  That being said, let's examine both sides.

If you are the jealous party, then you have some decisions to make.  First, you have to figure out if your jealousy is warranted or not.  This is often where the problem begins.  When we get jealous, we don't think very clearly, and we often wind up jumping to conclusions.  It is unfair to accuse someone of being unfaithful based on a mere suspicion, because you could turn out to be wrong.  I think you must have some sort of concrete proof before you would even consider accusing your partner of wrong behavior.  If you accuse your partner unjustly, then the trust between you is destroyed for no good reason.

Sometimes, however, we come to find out in the end that our jealousy is warranted and our suspicions are true.  If this is the case, then you have two choices: you can either try to work it out and trust that it won't happen again, or you can end the relationship and move on.  But I think that no matter which of these solutions you choose, you must do it completely.  If you decide to try and mend the relationship, you must devote yourself fully to doing so.  If your partner loves you, then they will make the same effort.  If they don't make the same effort, then they never really loved you as much as they claimed to; in which case, you are better off without them anyway.

On the other hand, if you decide to end the relationship, then do it completely.  No more discussions, excuses, phone calls, e-mails, or any other kind of contact!  Make a clean break. Heaven knows that breaking up is already difficult and painful enough as it is, so for God's sake, do not prolong the drama!

OK, now lets take a look at the other side of the issue.  If you are the person at whom the jealousy is being directed, then you need to stop and take a good look at your own behavior.  If you know without any doubt that you have done nothing to warrant the jealousy that your partner is showing toward you, then you need to decide if you want to stay with a person who is insecure, and always suspicious of every move you make.  Personally, I would not stay, but that's just me!  In my view a person should not even consider entering into a relationship unless they are first happy and satisfied with the person that they are themselves, and they know what they want out of their lives.  Let's face it, if you are unhappy and insecure with yourself, you don't have a prayer of ever making someone else happy in a relationship.  You cannot expect your partner to "complete you."  That is not only unfair to them, but it is an unrealistic expectation, and one that is impossible for anyone to fulfill.

Many may disagree with me on the following point, but I have found that most of the time when people are insecure in relationships, the issues causing their insecurities often have little or nothing to do with their partner.  They can often stem from things that happened years before they even met their partners.  The only way that they can become secure in who they are is to attack those issues at their source.  You need to resolve all of your own issues about self completely before you even think of entering into something as complicated as a relationship, because relationships are hard enough to handle without bringing all that extra baggage into them.  That may seem unrealistic to most, and maybe it is, but it's not untrue.

However, if you have done something to warrant the jealousy that is being directed at you, then for God's sake be an adult.  Have enough guts to stand up and be honest with your partner about it and accept the consequences for your actions.  If you ever had any real and true feelings for your partner in the first place, then that is the only fair and honorable thing you can do.  Yes, it will probably destroy your relationship, but after it was over, at least you would be able to look in the mirror and know that you behaved like human being instead of a louse.  And with any luck, maybe you will learn from the mistake, and not repeat it in future relationships!

Well...there's my two cents on the subject for whatever it's worth.

Dealing With The Loss Of A Dear Friend

The untimely passing of a good friend is never an easy thing.  Until it happens to us, we usually don't realize what a profound effect it will have on our lives.  It is always a great shock.  Not only that, it's also an event that tends to put a lot of things into perspective in very short order.  It is only when this kind of loss occurs that we are truly shown how fragile life can be...how quickly it can be lost.  Our daily lives often get so busy, and we encounter so many distractions, that we sometimes forget how vitally important it is to appreciate the little things that we are given.  I have always wondered why it is that it takes a sad occasion like this to remind us that we must savor each experience and enjoy every single moment of this life as if it were our last.

I had a jarring reminder of these truths when I lost my dear friend Ginger at the age of sixty-one.  Her death came on January 6, 2008, after a long and difficult illness.  Although everyone around her knew that it was inevitable given the circumstances, we were still completely devastated and unprepared for her loss.  As most people usually do in these cases, we were clinging blindly to the hope...no matter how delusional it may have been...that she would somehow beat the odds and make some kind of miraculous recovery; if there ever was anyone who could have beaten the odds, it would most certainly have been her!  Right up until the moment that she drew her final breath, all of her friends held that belief wholeheartedly; and I'd have to say that it was Ginger herself who inspired that faith, and her magnificent attitude that continued to fuel it each and every day.

When I learned of Ginger's passing three days after it happened, I think I was the most surprised of all.  The idea that I was never going to see her again was just so surreal to me, which I guess is a normal reaction to such news.  My brain just couldn't seem to wrap itself around the information.  I had, after all, spoken to her on the phone just a few short days earlier, and she hadn't seemed any better or worse than usual.  In other words, she seemed like the same old Ginger.  I knew that she was ill, but there was nothing in her tone or demeanor to suggest that her condition had taken such a dramatic turn for the worse.  In fact, it had seemed to me that she was a bit more energetic than usual, but maybe it only seemed that way to me because I had not been around her on a daily basis.

It took a while for the news to sink in.  As it did, I slowly retreated into my memories.  I had saved many keepsakes through the years...every photo, letter, e-mail, or gift that we had ever exchanged, and I spent the entire night going through each and every single saved item.  Each one held a precious moment.  I remembered her outrageous sense of humor, and every one of the many laughs we shared.  In fact, I'd have to say that in the twenty years I knew her, Ginger probably made me laugh more than any other friend I've had.  She had a habit of being relentless when it came to humor; once she had you laughing, she'd continue to repeat the joke, adding to it as she went.  She'd make it more exaggerated and outrageous with each telling, ensuring that her audience would be breathless and in stitches! 

I remembered the hours upon hours we spent enjoying long, satisfying heart-to-heart talks.  She was one of those rare people who had a way of putting you at ease.  You could talk to her about absolutely anything without fear of being judged.  Her advice was always helpful to me.  The wisdom and insight that she had to offer could always be depended upon to provide the answer to any problem I may have brought to her.  I remembered sharing my creative work with her; she was always my best critic...not to mention my strongest supporter.  She shared my taste in music, and my love for all things creative; she always encouraged and inspired me.  She was forever telling me that I should always follow my dreams no matter what.  In short, I remembered every one of a million ineffable little qualities that made her so beloved to all who knew her.

I could probably write volumes trying to relate every scene that came flooding back to me as I sat looking at old photos and rereading old letters.  There they were...twenty years worth of memories sitting before me.  There were so many things I had forgotten about, and I couldn't help but smile as I was reminded of them.  In an odd way, it was sort of like watching home movies or something.  I was reliving every crazy, wonderful moment all over again.  I saw the strange looks and surprised reactions that we often got whenever we were in public, and shared a private joke that no one else got.  I guess most people just didn't share our love for weird, ironic humor and over-the-top sarcasm.  Like the time that we took Ginger's car to her mechanic to be serviced.  I still laugh out loud at the memory of this day!  Here's what happened...

Ginger had been living in Oklahoma helping to care for her sister who was ill with cancer.  She was planning a trip back there after her visit home, and wanted to make sure that her car was in shape for the trip.  While waiting for the repairs to be completed, we were inside talking with her friends, and I excused myself to go to the restroom.  As I was making my way toward it, I took a tumble, and Ginger quickly ran to my assistance.  When she reached down and attempted to help me up off the floor, I waved her hand away and sarcastically shouted: “Oh, get away from me, you dried up old bat!”  This was something that I said to her in jest quite often, so we both burst into fits of hysterical laughter, secure in the knowledge that this insult was meant affectionately.  We were laughing so hard that it took me nearly ten minutes to get myself up off the floor.  Her friends, however, were less amused; their mouths dropped open and their eyes grew wide with shock!  They were completely appalled that I could react so rudely to this attempt at kindness, but their indignant reaction only made us laugh harder!

The truly funny part about situations like these is that they were never planned.  They just seem to happen to us naturally; we didn't even have to try hard to end up in these predicaments!  In fact, we got caught in a similar misunderstanding about two weeks later.  We were returning from our trip to Oklahoma.  We were about halfway home, when Ginger decided that we'd better stop for gas.  So we stopped at the next available opportunity, and I went in to use the restroom, and get us some sodas and snacks since we had about four more hours to drive.  Just as I was approaching the counter, Ginger came in to pay for the gas, and as I had done many times in the past, I said to her in a very annoyed tone: “Why are you following me? What did I ever do to you? For the love of God, will you just leave me alone!”  As she usually did, Ginger appeared to be shocked, and feigned complete innocence.  We must have been very convincing, because the poor cashier had a “deer in the headlights” reaction!  She was actually about to call the police when we let her off the hook!  Fortunately, she took the whole thing like a good sport, while Ginger and I got back in the car laughing our heads off!  I'm sure that everyone else around us probably thought that we were crazy that day, but to us it was completely hilarious!

Moments like these were typical of Ginger's brand of humor!  In fact, her sense of humor was such that she didn't even mind making herself the butt of the joke.  She loved to poke fun at herself in a good-natured way.  She loved making people laugh, even if it was at her expense.  She never hesitated to share even her most embarrassing moments if she thought it would make someone laugh!  Even a simple night out with Ginger could easily become a memorable event, as in the case of the casino incident, which I described in my essay entitled “Learning To Cope With Terminal Illness,” which I wrote about the aforementioned trip to Oklahoma that I took with Ginger in 1996.  You'll have to refer to that piece for the full story of this evening, but let's just say that she had a tiny fixation with parking spaces!

That is the nature of the friendship that we had; no matter what happened or what was said, we knew that we would always be there for each other, and we were!  Ginger was truly one of a kind, and I considered her one of the dearest friends that I've ever had in my life.  I sincerely hope that everyone on this planet gets the chance to experience a friendship as wonderful and fulfilling as the one that I had with her.  It enriched my life in more ways than I could ever begin to express!

Although I miss Ginger more than words could ever say, I will not weep for the loss.  To this day, I have not shed a single tear, because that is the way that she would have wanted it.  Ginger was all about spreading joy and making people laugh.  I know that she wouldn't want anyone to have tears in their eyes when they were remembering her.  Besides, I still have all of these reminders, and the memories that they hold.  That will be enough to sustain me until our paths cross again!

Learning To Cope With Terminal Illness

I have often heard people speak of angels on earth.  Whenever they do, they always seem to tell this really heart-warming story about someone who has done something wonderful for them that completely changed the entire course of their lives.  I guess you could say that this is one of those stories.  You see, being a very Spiritual person, I have always believed in angels, and in their presence among us.  I even felt that I had experienced manifestations of that presence many times... or at least, that's what I thought.  However, I was proven wrong when my life was changed forever by the experience which I am about to relate here.  That was when I learned the true meaning of that phrase.

This wonderful story began shortly before Christmas of 1996, when I received a telephone call from my good friend, Ginger.  She had phoned to let me know that she was going to be coming home to Missouri from Oklahoma.  She had been living there for the previous ten months, helping to care for her sister, Wilma, who had been ill with breast cancer.  At the time, I was only vaguely acquainted with Wilma.  I had heard Ginger tell the story of how she and Wilma met many times.  Ginger shared with me that she had been given up for adoption by her natural mother, so at first she had not been aware that she even had a sister.  Then, when she learned that she did have biological siblings, she began trying to track them down, and found Wilma.  She told me that after finding each other in 1976, they had become acquainted by writing letters to one another daily.  Once they were in contact with one another they became very close in a short time, and remained so from that point on.  She had told me all of this long before ever finding out that Wilma was ill.  So naturally, when she heard that Wilma was ill, all she could think of was trying to help in whatever way she could.  She decided that in order to do that, she needed to be near her; so she put her own life on hold indefinitely, and made the move to Oklahoma!

I really hated the idea of being separated from Ginger, but I completely understood her desire to be there for her sister.  I did, however, keep in close touch with her throughout her stay in Oklahoma.  We wrote letters, and I would call her there often.  On some of these occasions, Wilma would answer the phone, so I would speak to her briefly while I was waiting for Ginger to come to the phone.  Mostly, we just made small talk about nothing in particular.  This is how she and I got acquainted.  But aside from those short conversations, my only knowledge of Wilma was acquired from the stories that Ginger told me about her.  So, needless to say, I was extremely shocked when Ginger told me that Wilma wanted to meet me in person.  I did not understand the reason for this request; it concerned me a little, so I asked Ginger about it.  When I did, she said to me: "Oh, I have told Wilma all about you and our friendship, and about the experiences that you and I have shared."

She went on to explain that when she'd moved to Oklahoma, she had taken along several picture frames, each filled with many photos of all her friends.  She also said that she and Wilma had spent many hours looking at the photos together as she explained who each friend was, and told Wilma all about the experiences that she'd had with each person.  While that certainly explained how Wilma had come to know me so well, I still didn't understand why she wanted to meet me in person.  It completely blew my mind to think that I barely knew this woman, but somehow, I had managed to make such an impact on her that it was one of her dying requests to meet me.  Let me tell you, unless that experience has happened to you before, you could never even begin to understand how profoundly moving it is.

Anyway, knowing that Ginger was planning a trip back to Missouri, Wilma asked her to find out if I would mind coming with her when she returned to Oklahoma after her visit.  I agreed, and Ginger came home for her visit about a week later.  Since we were in the midst of the holiday season, her plan was to spend a brief time with her family members in St. Louis before returning to Wilma's side.  Wilma's illness had progressed to the point where everyone knew that her death wasn't going to be that far off.  She had told Ginger to go back home and go on with her life, but Ginger still felt the need to be there for her; she was determined to see her sister through this to the very end.  So about a week after she got home, Ginger returned to Oklahoma, and I went back with her so that I could meet Wilma as she had requested...or more accurately, so that Wilma could meet me.  I had no idea what to expect.  I only knew that, apparently, Wilma's desire to meet me was based on the impression of me that she had gotten from all of the stories that Ginger had told her about me.  Little did I know that the events which were about to take place would change my life in a most phenomenal way.

We arrived in Oklahoma on a Thursday night in late January of 1997...I believe it was the 23rd, although my memory is a bit fuzzy on that, so I could be mistaken.  Regardless, my first meeting with Wilma was a moment that I will remember vividly for the rest of my life.  I can still remember the anticipation I felt as I stepped onto the porch, about to enter the house.  I was very nervous.  By the time we got there, Wilma had already been bedridden for quite some time.  She had been receiving Hospice care, and they had supplied a hospital bed which had been placed in the living room for her, so that she could still interact with friends and family as much as she was able to.  We entered the room and walked over to the side of her bed, where Ginger introduced me to her.  I reached out to take her hand, and as she placed her hand in mine, I remember thinking that her skin was the softest thing I had ever felt before.  Then, she said hello and smiled at me.  And I have to say honestly that she was the first person I have ever met whose smile truly did light up the room.  I have heard that said about many people, but in this case, it is absolutely true.  When she smiled, you could just see her Spirit shining out of her.  For me, that smile alone was worth the entire eight hour trip.  And that moment was made even more significant in light of the fact that it was one of the last lucid moments of Wilma's life.

We stayed in Oklahoma for a total of five days, and in that short period of time, I came to realize that Wilma was one of the most gentle, caring, and absolutely selfless people I had ever known.  This was a fact that was most clearly illustrated to me on the second morning of our visit.  Wilma had had a particularly uncomfortable night the night before, but in spite of what she was going through, she was much more worried about my welfare as her guest than she was about herself and her situation.  This moved me more than I could ever begin to express with words.  I mean, here she was lying on her deathbed, her body being traumatized by the most horrific pain that a human being could ever possibly experience, and she was more concerned about whether or not I had slept well, or if I had eaten breakfast that morning.  But that is the kind of a person that she was.  She always put everybody else's needs ahead of her own.

That being said, I am reminded of another story which will further illustrate just how selfless Wilma really was.  This one takes place about four months before Ginger and I made the January trip to Oklahoma.  See, I had actually scheduled a trip to go and visit Ginger there for the entire week of September 8, 1996.  Ginger and I had spoken on the phone many times about this visit, and we were both very excited about it because we had not seen each other in person since Ginger had left Missouri.  We had made many plans which, among other things, included going to a KISS concert on September 11, 1996, in Oklahoma City.  In fact, Ginger had already purchased our tickets for the show.  So I packed my bags, bought a plane ticket, and was ready to go off and have the great time that both Ginger and I had anticipated.

Unfortunately, things didn't quite turn out that way.  The day before I was supposed to leave, I got a phone call from Ginger saying that our visit would have to be canceled.  It seems that the family was having some difficulties, (both financial, and otherwise), and they really were in no shape to be entertaining guests.  Still, I know in my heart of hearts that if the decision had been left up to Wilma, she would have just let me come for the visit, and she would have tried to make the best of the situation because she did not want to spoil all the plans that Ginger and I had made.  It was Ginger who had to cancel the trip, so that I would not be visiting at a bad time.  Honestly, I could fill an entire volume with the acts of kindness that I witnessed from Wilma in just that brief of a time!  It saddens me that I never got to thank her for the effect that her kindness had on me.

Although she never knew it, Wilma was also a huge help to me in another way as well.  My family and I are no strangers to cancer ourselves; we've lost several family members to various forms of the disease.  I have always deeply regretted the fact that I did not visit my family very much at the very end of their lives.  I mean, I did pay my respects by attending their funerals and all that, but I just couldn't stand to watch their health deteriorate at the end.  I know that sounds horribly selfish, but it's true.  Because I have carried that regret for so long, I was doubly grateful for the opportunity to be there with Wilma.  As I was sitting at her bedside praying, I felt as if she had given me the chance to make up for my past mistakes, and I have always wished that I could have thanked her for that beautiful gift!  It was a great help in healing from the grief of my own loss.

Sitting with Wilma in her last moments did more than just help me over my grief, though.  It also helped me to release many of the fears that had kept me from being there for my own family members.  She approached her death with such dignity and courage; it was amazing to witness.  There were many moments when all that I could do was look at her and marvel at the strength of her Spirit.  Even in her weakened state, her Spirit shone blindingly.  I could see this beautiful, golden glow of Divinity around her head.  I wish that I could describe it here, but it really defies all description.  You would have had to see it to understand what I was talking about.  Even though I never really got to know Wilma on an intimate basis as a truly close friend, I could just intuitively feel the goodness in her Soul as I sat with her in silence.

Another of her many outstanding qualities that I admired was her great sense of humor.  Again, this was something that I never got to witness for myself, so I have had to rely on Ginger's many stories, as well as the many photographs that she has shown me which depict Wilma in different humorous situations.  But if you, the reader, could see these photos, you would see that Wilma's sense of humor is clearly evident in each and every one of them.

I usually don't like to pass on second hand stories, but this one made me laugh so hard that I can't resist.  As I was learning about Wilma's sense of humor through Ginger, I can remember one photo in particular that absolutely made me howl with laughter when she showed it to me.  The photo showed Wilma wearing a comically over-padded bra on top of her night shirt, and a huge silly grin on her face.  The photo became even more hilarious when Ginger explained the circumstances of the moment that it was taken.

She explained that this photo had been taken just shortly after Wilma had had her double mastectomy.  Wilma's husband believed that he could somehow make her feel better about the loss of her breasts by surprising her with "a hand-made bra of his own design."  Unfortunately he over-padded it just a bit, making it appear about three sizes larger than Wilma's own breasts had been before the operation!  When Wilma came home from the hospital, he presented this "gift" to her proudly!  Ginger said that she truly did appreciate the thought behind his effort, so, not wanting to hurt his feelings, she accepted it, and thanked him politely.  However, as soon as her husband left the house to run an errand, Wilma turned to Ginger, and said: "Obviously, he either remembers my breasts much differently than they actually were, or else it is simply wishful thinking on his part!"  She and Ginger laughed their heads off over this, and then Wilma put the bra on over her nightshirt, and allowed Ginger to snap the photograph of her making fun of herself.  It was hilarious to me, too.  I laughed so hard that my sides quickly began to ache, and in between fits of laughter, I remember thinking how great and inspiring it was that even in spite of all that had happened her, Wilma could still find things to laugh about.  I know how very important it is that the patient keeps their Spirits up in situations like these, and Wilma surely did just that.

Further evidence of Wilma's incredible sense of humor came to me after her passing, and I feel that it bears mentioning here.  After she passed in February of 1997, Ginger and I spoke of her often.  We had many conversations remembering her, and the time that we spent with her during this trip.  In one of these conversations, Ginger has told me how much Wilma used to enjoy hearing the stories of all the silly things that she and I had done together.  She said that Wilma's favorite story about us...the one that made her laugh the hardest...was about one of the frequent trips to the casino that Ginger and I had made together.  On this particular occasion, we were in the parking lot, and it was very crowded.  At first, Ginger had planned to let me out at the door, and then park the car.  However, on outings with Ginger, things rarely worked out exactly as we planned; that was one of the things that made life with her so much fun; we could always laugh about the unplanned mishaps!

Despite all of our good intentions, here's what actually ended up happening.  We were driving down one aisle of the lot on our way to the door, when out of the corner of her eye, Ginger spotted someone starting to pull out of a parking slot.  Determined to get the spot before anyone else, she started screaming at me to get out of the car as fast as I could.  In all my life I have never heard anything else quite like the tone of her voice in that precise moment.  It was the voice of a possessed woman on a mission!  I attempted to do as she asked, but was not fast enough.  She started shouting at me to hurry up, her voice becoming almost a growl.  I threw open my door as she came to a very brief stop, and swung my feet out.  I barely had enough time to even get my crutches out of the car, let alone put them on my arms so I could walk.  I had them in my hand when she suddenly started to move, not even giving me time to close the door!  Then her son, Paul, who was riding in the back seat, was forced to dive over the front seat in a frantic attempt to get the door closed!  Meanwhile, I was left to hobble to the door with my crutches in my hand!  I teased Ginger about that mercilessly until the day she passed away herself in 2008. I used to tell her all the time that she always made me feel so loved!  According to Ginger, Wilma found this story hysterical, and would laugh uncontrollably every time she heard it.  And of course, each time that Wilma laughed at the story, Ginger would tell it again, making the details even more exaggerated for comic effect.  This is typical of Gingers sense of humor; she'll do anything to get a laugh... and of course, it works every time!

It has always made me feel good that our little adventure gave Wilma that gift of laughter.  I bet that as she sat there laughing at that story, she never would have dreamed in a million years that she'd have the chance to experience Ginger's obsession with parking spaces for herself, but indeed, she did.  You see, Ginger often drove Wilma to her doctor and hospital appointments for chemotherapy and radiation treatments and the like.  It was on one of these doctor visits that Wilma saw this for herself.  She and Ginger were pulling into the hospital's parking garage for one of Wilma's final radiation treatments, when again, Ginger spotted an open space.  She gunned her motor, determined to snag it.  In the process, she ran over a curb, drove through a chain that was across the parking lot entrance, and came very close to lightly grazing a cement column.  Ginger said that Wilma grabbed the dashboard in a frantic attempt to steady herself, and her eyes widened until it seemed that they were going to pop out of their sockets.  Then, after Ginger had stopped the car and she'd had time to regain her composure, she turned to Ginger as they were walking into the hospital, and said: "Now I know how poor Randy must have felt!"  Ginger, of course, busted a gut laughing at that.

My final memory in all of my experiences with Wilma is a much more somber one, though.  This one took place on the day before Ginger and I left there to come back home to St. Louis.  The priest from Wilma's church stopped over to say a prayer for her.  As everyone stood around silently with their heads bowed in prayer, I remember sensing this incredible feeling of peace around the room.  And a moment or two later, I felt the unmistakable presence of The Lord in the room.  He was standing at the left side of Wilma's bed, looking down at her.  Even though He never spoke a word, I know that He was telling her not to fear what was to come, and assuring her that she would soon be at home with Him in Peace and Glory.  I believe that His presence there was twofold.  Not only was He there to guide Wilma home, but also to gently remind all of us that He is still there watching over us, and that He is still The Master of all our lives.

I'm sure you can understand why this trip was an experience that I will not soon forget.  Now, that I look back on the whole thing, I definitely think that I was sent to meet Wilma so that I could be taught a very valuable lesson about courage.  I learned what the phrase "angel on earth" truly means.  I was also reminded of something that all of us should know, something that we all-too-often forget, and that is this: don't be deceived by appearances, because the angel that you've spent so long searching for may have been walking right beside you your whole life!

Confessions Of A King's X Fan

If you are a fan of progressive, melodic rock with deep soulful vocals, then I would highly recommend that you check out the Texas rock trio King's X.  They have been churning out great music for more than twenty years, and yet they have been shamefully overlooked and under appreciated by most in the music world.  Even after so many years in the music business, and in spite of the fiercely loyal audience they have built for themselves, mainstream success has remained just beyond their reach.  In my opinion, this is a grievous injustice which demands to be rectified!

I first became acquainted with this band in 1989, after seeing the video for their song Over My Head on MTV.  Looking back, I'm surprised I was able to catch it; just like radio, MTV rarely bothered to play anything by King's X.  Over the next couple of years, I heard a few of their other songs that I also dug quite a bit.  Although I liked the tunes that I had heard, I still remained only a casual fan.  It wasn't until about 1992 that my now twenty-one year love affair with this great band truly got its start.  It was in that year that I first saw them in concert.  I was in college at the time, and a good friend of mine asked me to go with him to one of their shows.  He'd gotten stuck with an extra ticket because one of his other friends had canceled on him.  I was hesitant at first, since I had only heard a handful of the band's songs.  After thinking it over, though, I figured that I had nothing to lose since it was a free ticket, so I took him up on it.

That evening was one that I will always remember.  I was impressed with the band from the moment that they started to play.  They had a completely original sound; no other band I had ever heard sounded like they did.  Their sound was massive and intense.  I couldn't believe that a trio could generate such a large sound.  Up until that point, I had never liked a group who made use of dropped tunings in their music.  I had always felt that tuning low just made everything sound like mush, but they created great melodies that came through even when they were detuned.  As the show continued, it became more obvious to me that these guys were truly seasoned musicians who had been playing together for a very long time.  They not only played well, but they played well together too!  They were one of the tightest bands I have ever seen!  During quite a few of the songs, they added long improvised sections.  As they played, it almost seemed that they could read each other's minds.  Each of them seemed to easily anticipate the other's next musical idea, and was able to complement it perfectly.

The thing that really got to me the most was the quality of their singing.  That's what pushed me over the line from casual fan to addicted fanatic.  Their lush vocal harmonies were not only exquisitely beautiful and filled with passionate emotion, but they were flawlessly executed.  This is a true rarity in heavy metal and rock music today.  They were truly good entertainers on stage as well.  It was very clear that they were having a blast up there doing what they do.  That enthusiasm gives them the ability to draw the audience in and make them feel like they are truly participating in the show.  There were several numbers in which they encouraged the audience to sing along.  Sometimes the audience would sing the background vocal parts, while the band members sang the lead vocal over them.  Other times they just played the music while letting the audience do all of the singing.

This was indeed one of the best concerts that I have ever attended!  They made such an impression on me, in fact, that I went out the very next day and bought every CD that they had released up to that point.  Not only that, but those compact discs did not leave my changer for the next two months!  I have seen every show that they have played in my area since then, and I look forward to each new CD with eager anticipation!

To sum up, this band is definitely one of the best kept secrets in the music world.  Returning fans are never disappointed, and new fans are in for a real treat enjoying their first King's X experience!  In fact, many of my own friends can attest to the statements I have made here, having been converted by me over the years!  I would definitely recommend that you go to see them if you ever have the chance.  I can guarantee that you will not regret the decision!



Film Review: For The Bible Tells Me So

The issue of Spiritual violence against those who are gay, and whether or not The Bible really is gay-friendly have both been touchy subjects for years.  Now, a 2007 documentary film brings those very issues to the forefront.  In his film For The Bible Tells Me So director Daniel Karslake attempts to answer that question, as well as examine the issue of Spiritual abuse endured by the gay community at the hands of Fundamentalist Christians.  According to Karslake and the various members of the clergy who appear in the film, the answer to that question is yes...The Bible really is gay-friendly.  Or at least that's what they set out to prove

I watched this film at the recommendation of a good friend, who found it to be a great comfort Spiritually, and thought that I would feel likewise; but in all honesty, I wasn't as impressed as he was.  While I do agree with their take on Biblical matters, I still felt that the film fell short in a number of ways.  Before I get into the reasons for my dissatisfaction, however, I would like to say that I could see what they were trying to express, and I wholeheartedly applaud them for their efforts; I think that any time someone even attempts to promote tolerance and love for all people, that is a truly wonderful thing.  The makers of this film definitely deserve credit for the fact that their intentions were properly focused. Unfortunately, I felt that even though they had their sights set on the right target, they simply failed to hit the mark.

I think the main beef that I had with this film is with the way that it was put together.  In an attempt to cover both sides of the issue, the director has intertwined footage of the clergy who attempt to make the case for a gay-friendly Bible with footage of the opposition loudly protesting the gay lifestyle, and spewing hatred in the name of God.  You can clearly see that his intention in doing this was to present an opposing viewpoint, and then refute it.  Sadly, I just didn't think that he effectively achieved that goal.

Then, to make matters even more confusing, he goes on to tell the stories of four different families who have dealt with these Biblical issues, and attempts to show how they overcame their misgivings about having a gay child, and learned that The Bible doesn't condemn homosexuality.  While the stories are sometimes heartwarming and sometimes tragic, for me, they only added to the film's already chaotic feel.  With all of this different footage running together, the end result just felt completely jumbled and disjointed.

Another thing that I felt was lacking here was that I expected there to be a much more in-depth study of The Bible passages in question.  However, they were barely touched upon, which was another crippling blow to the case that they were trying to present.  They didn't give a clear and logical reason why their interpretation should be believed over another.  The clergy who argue for a gay-friendly Bible came across sounding as if their word should be believed just because they said it was so.  I mean, let's face it...The Bible is a very volatile subject.  If you are going to tell someone that their interpretation of it is wrong, then you'd better be prepared to offer some pretty compelling proof that yours is right.  You can't make many of the claims they do, and just expect people to buy it without providing sufficient information to back up your statements...especially if you hope to change deeply ingrained beliefs that for most people, have been held since their earliest childhood; to me, this film simply did not succeed in doing that on any level.

I sat through this entire movie with one burning question on my mind.  I kept asking myself: “If I were a straight, staunchly conservative, Bible believing Christian, would these arguments be strong enough to convince me to change my views on the matter?”  Now remember: this is coming from a gay man who agrees with the viewpoints presented, but as much as I wanted to answer “yes” to that question, honesty just wouldn't permit me to do so.

The bottom line with a movie of this nature is that presentation is everything.  The movie had some great information to offer, but that information was incomplete, and was organized in such a haphazard way that it severely weakened their arguments on a number of issues.  To me, these basic flaws made their case far less convincing than it otherwise might have been.  They gave it a good try, and if I were rating the movie based on effort alone, I'd give it five stars; but as it is, I'm afraid the end result is only mediocre at best.