Prayers
For Bobby is a made-for-TV adaptation of author Leroy Aarons' 1995
book of the same name. The film originally aired on the Lifetime
Network in 2008 and has recently come to DVD. Based on a true story,
Prayers For Bobby stars Sigourney Weaver as Mary
Griffith, a mother who is forced to come to terms with the death of
her gay son by suicide, after her well-meant but misguided campaign to "cure him of his sickness."
The
story begins in 1979. Bobby Griffith, nearly sixteen, realizes that
he is gay, which sends his world into a tailspin. Having grown up
sharing his mother's faith and beliefs, Bobby knows what the church
and the world...and even his own family thinks of gay people. Terrified, and believing that he's headed straight for the fires of
Hell, Bobby tries to resist his feelings, while keeping them a secret
from everyone. Finally, when the struggle becomes to much for him to
bear, he decides to commit suicide by swallowing an entire bottle of
aspirin, but can't bring himself to go through with it. When his
brother Ed wanders into the room to find the pills scattered all over
the floor and Bobby lying motionless on the bed, Bobby finally
confides in him, swearing him to complete secrecy. In the end,
however, Ed's concern for Bobby gets the better of him, and he
reluctantly breaks his vow of silence.
When
Mary hears the news, she does the only thing that she knows to do. She turns to her Bible, and the faith that has always provided the
perfect cocoon of safety for her. She convinces herself that if they
are faithful, God will heal Bobby. From then on, she wages a
relentless Spiritual war against her son's homosexuality. Leaving
Bible verses taped all around the house that warn of the sin of
homosexuals, she continuously badgers Bobby to be steadfast in his
faith, to pray harder in order to resist being tempted by his “sinful
nature.” Together they tried everything imaginable to get Bobby “on
the right path again.”
What
Mary didn't know was that Bobby was already dealing with his own
guilt and shame, because he shared her beliefs and was repulsed by
his own inclinations. He was already trying with everything in his Soul to “change,” and was disgusted by his inability to conform, which proved him weak in his own eyes. Her constant badgering only caused his already strong sense of self-loathing
to increase exponentially!
Finally,
after three years of this, Bobby is at his wits end. He finally
realizes that this is not going to change, and he quits trying. Unable to bear his mother's tirades any longer, he moves to Oregon to
live with a cousin. For a brief time, things seem to improve, but
Bobby is still unable to reconcile his sexuality with his own Spirit...and it doesn't help that Mary's admonitions keep coming, both by
phone and by mail. By mid-summer, he had reached his breaking point. On August 27, 1983, Bobby was walking home alone from a night out,
and as he crossed the bridge above the freeway overpass near his
home, he climbed over the side, jumped directly into the path of an
oncoming 18-wheeler, and was killed instantly at the age of twenty.
Following
Bobby's death, a distraught Mary went looking for answers. Limited
education and a complete ignorance of anything to do with
homosexuality had forced her to rely solely on her religious faith
for guidance in Bobby's situation. For Mary, that faith was what had
provided her with security and peace; before these events, it had
always provided her with answers when she didn't understand. But this
time, something had gone horribly wrong. When
her own church proved to be no help whatsoever, Mary began to educate
herself. She read everything she could find on homosexuality, and
began attending services at the local branch of the MCC, a
gay-friendly church. In her time there, she slowly began to learn
that The Bible's words left room for other interpretations than the
ones that she was taught. Armed with this new knowledge, she began a
very critical scrutiny of The Bible, and came to understand that The
Bible states many things that are no longer enforced or put into
practice in today's churches. This was a comfort to Mary, because it
allowed her to believe that Bobby could be in Heaven, but at the same
time, it also brought her to the terrible realization that her
efforts to “change” Bobby had been tragically wrong!
The
guilt that she felt at this realization nearly consumed her. Realizing that she had done a grave injustice to her son, she vowed
from that point on to spend the rest of her life making it right. She
has chosen to take the story of her personal tragedy to the world in
the hopes that no other parent should ever have to pay the terrible
price of ignorance as she did. Now, at 76, Mary travels the country
telling her story and working tirelessly to make the world a safer
and more loving place for others like her Bobby.
Prayers
For Bobby is a wonderful film. The acting is first-rate, and
the gravity of the story will keep you riveted. There are some minor
changes in the film version, but overall it is a very good
adaptation of the book. More importantly than all of that, this film (and its
accompanying book) have probably saved countless lives. This is a
story that should be read or seen by every parent, and every
so-called “Christian” who sits in a church pew crying “Amen”
as their fellow human beings are slandered, ridiculed, and
persecuted. Stories like this are very common among the gay
community, and this illustrates all too clearly the dire consequences
that can come from ignorance and blind, unquestioning faith.
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