More On The Use Of Insulting Words

Recently, I published an article discussing my opinions on the use of insulting words.  I was surprised and very gratified to receive some very positive and thought-provoking responses to my words.  The comments that I received from those who read that piece raised some very good points on the issue that I had not considered when I wrote the original article, and I felt that those points should be addressed; hence, this companion article!

Before I get into the specifics on this, I want to be perfectly clear about the fact that I was in no way advocating the use of these words for abusive purposes.  Thankfully, my readers realized this and understood what I was trying to communicate.  My intention was to open a respectful and civil dialog on the subject, and if the replies that I received are any indication, then I succeeded in doing that; my readers certainly gave me much to consider.

One of my readers pointed out that while there are many insulting words that have been "reclaimed" by the groups at which they are aimed, their use should remain exclusive to that group of people.  This is a very valid point, because when these words are used within the particular group that they describe, they take on a completely different connotation; they are used with an understanding and acceptance that robs them of their usually hateful meaning.  She went on to say that their are some words which she felt could never be "reclaimed" in this way.  One of the examples she gave of a word which cannot be "reclaimed" is the horrible "r" word used to refer to those with mental disabilities.  This is also valid.  In this case, even when such a word is being used in jest, a person with severe mental disabilities may or may not have the capacity to make the distinction between joke and insult. Let's face it, that distinction often treads a very fine line, even for those who are in full possession of their faculties.  Therefore, it would always be hateful to use such a word.

Another of my readers stated that while she understood my point, she felt that the examples that I cited from my own experiences were unique to my specific case, and didn't necessarily justify the use of these words by everyone.  I have to say that I completely agree with her point as well.  Whenever you may be in doubt as to whether you will insult someone by choosing a particular word, it is wise to take the safe path, and not do it.  These are all perfectly reasonable and logical truths, and I never intended for my previous article to dispute them in any way.  I was merely trying to communicate my personal belief that if you allow yourself to become insulted by a non-hateful use of any word, then you are giving those words a power over your life that they should never have.

I guess my belief about this was shaped by my upbringing.  I grew up with Cerebral Palsy, and knowing that I would probably be teased and ridiculed by the ignorant, my parents taught me that my own opinion of myself was far more important than what others said about me.  The most important thing was to like the man I see in the mirror.  This was a lesson that they drilled into my head over and over from the time I was a small child.  This gave me a very strong sense of self, and a very thick skin.  So for me, even when these words are being thrown at me in a hateful manner, I tend not to care as much as some would. 

Regardless of what others may say, I know exactly who and what I am...and what's more, I like who and what I am.  I do not define myself according to the opinions of others.  Since I have this wonderful inner knowledge of myself, why should I waste my energy feeling negative because of the hateful words of an ignorant idiot who doesn't even know me well enough to make such an assessment of my character in the first place?  The way I see it, that person's opinion should never matter to me.  That makes sense, doesn't it?